DOUBLE DUTY

May 15, 2026

by Rusty W. Mitchum

Well, it finally happened; I got cloned. It was on Facebook. I had read warnin’s of this happenin’, but like everyone else, I didn’t think it would ever happen to me.

I first realized it when I walked into the kitchen and there was the clone standin’ by the stove in my underwear and drinkin’ coffee from my favorite cup.

“Who are you and what are you doin’?” I asked.

He turned and looked at me, smiled, took a sip of coffee, and said, “I’m you.”

“How could you be me?” I said. “I’m me!”

“You should have changed your Facebook password when you were warned,” it said.

About that time Janet walked into the kitchen. “Who are you talking toooo…..?” she started sayin’, but stopped and stared. She looked at me and then at the other me. Her mouth dropped open. I spoke.

“I’ve been cloned,” I said.

“No, I’ve been cloned,” the other me said.

Janet just stood there with a deer in the headlights look on her face. Her eyes moved from one me to the other me. “There’s two of you?”

“No,” I said. “He’s fake.”

“No, he’s fake,” the clone said.

“Oh!” she said. “This isn’t going to work at all. I cannot tell who is who.”

“It’s easy,” I said. “I’m me.”

The other me laughed and said, “Yeah right.”

“Let me think here,” said Janet. “This is terrible. Two of you? One’s bad enough.”

“Hey!” I said. The other me just stared at her.

“I know,” said Janet and then smiled. “I’ll ask a question and determine by the answer who is the real Rusty.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I said.

“Yes indeed,” said the clone. “Please, proceed.”

“Okay,” Janet said. “I would like to go out tonight, but the choice is yours. Where are we going?”

I turned and smirked at the clone, then turned back to Janet. “Easy,” I said. “Whataburger!” Janet smiled. Then the clone spoke.

“Tonight we will be driving to Dallas for cocktails at Apothecary where we’ll have a table waiting. You will be wearing a little black dress which we will purchase, on the way, at Piermarini Boutique after which we’ll stop in at Bachendorf’s where you will choose the perfect pearl necklace to accentuate your dress. After cocktails we will dine at the RH Rooftop Restaurant and then off to the Balcony Club for some blues and jazz; and maybe dancing. Later we will retire to the Rosewood Mansion on Turtle Creek for a romantic rest of the evening.”

“Ack,” I scoffed and looked at Janet as I pointed my thumb at the clone.

Janet smiled at him then pointed at me and said, “You! You are the real Rusty!”

“Ha!” I exclaimed while lookin’ at the clone.

“But,” said Janet. I looked over at her. She smiled. “I’m choosing him,” pointin’ at the clone.

Suddenly I woke up. I was covered in sweat. It was all a dream. Man! That’s it, no more week-old leftover hot links after 10 p.m. for me.